Setbacks that couldn’t Hold Me Back
On some days things don’t go as planned.
You fall.
Or fail. Or stumble.
It’s a part of a life well-lived but how you look at and respond to these dark or negative situations can have a huge impact on your success, happiness, and overall life.
I graduated Second Class (Lower), yes! Surprised? I realized I wasn’t going to graduate with any degree higher at the beginning of year 5. I was pained, hurt and disappointed with myself because that wasn’t what I planned or wanted or even what others think of me.
Many saw me as “igi iwe”; I was even a two-time academic secretary of my fellowship…The irony! I was “head boy” of my secondary school, went on to study Mechanical Engineering at the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University; you can imagine the expectations from stakeholders, it was either a First class or at the very least a Second Class (Upper). There I was with a 2.9/5 CGPA at the end of year 4; I began to think hard and long what to do with my life without having to present my certificate. I needed to fail forward, think about what I can do to develop myself. Embracing your failure gives you the motivation to move further forward.
I had always wanted to become the president of my department, I wasn’t sure I wanted to still go on with it seeing my drowning academic results but I told myself “at least if I can’t be a great academic student, I can be a great student leader” I was only greasing my ego or ‘gassing’ myself as we millennials say it these days. I ran, campaigned on different platforms to students, organized tutorials, alas; I lost! It was a breaking moment for me, what else did I have going? Everything was against me, I was down. I wasn’t even looking attractive again to myself :( I practically saw myself as the physical representation of failure.
Philippians 4:6–8 was my constant confession all through those moments, I felt peace after some days. Guys, it’s okay to cry, it’s a sign of strength and being human; actually, ladies find it sexy. “Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and emotional dysfunction.”-Mark Manson. I had to let go and come to terms with what I had; I was graduating with a Second Class (Lower), not as the president of my department and an extra year.
Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and emotional dysfunction.
First, I decided to make my final year the best academic year, to have high grades… and also to build networks, volunteer for organizations, learn skills relating to my talent which was media and designs. I learned the tools needed to improve my design skills, also practiced a lot of qualitative reasoning to build my brain, I also read a lot of business, motivational books. All these got me pumped for a life without my school certificate.
Then the unimaginable happened, I was fired twice in two different companies in Lagos; I thought it was the end of my life. I was down again, broke and frustrated. Thanks to family support, (the reason why you should not despise your family and friends when the going is good), stay connected. Thanks to the network I had, I got my groove back with another job earning ₦50K, small but good. I did that for over a year before I left the shores of Nigeria.
I travelled with uncertainties, but it was necessary for the next phase of my life. Embracing a new culture wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience especially when it is not the regular country Nigerians travel to. I did get a job after 3 full months of endless searching and toiling, it was such relief as I could afford to pay off some debts. Guess what? I was fired after a month and a half. Yes, I was depressed; however, it was a blessing in disguise as it was a push to look for something more rewarding.
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”
— Confucius
When searching for a job especially when it’s for a long time, we tend to accept just any job; yes accept it but do not settle, keep searching. Don’t stay defeated in your mind — Be positive!
Failure is a part of life; believe in you and prepare for the (Inevitable) Bad Times.
When you’re up against unexpected personal trials that breed stress, your mind becomes muddled, your self-esteem could take a tumble, affecting the way you see yourself.
“Doubting your abilities will impact your life and decisions unfavourably. For that reason, make use of personal problems. See them as lessons to learn from.” That’s the advice from David Christensen, a legal advisor who has counselled individuals facing debt-related challenges.
Use success stories of people who failed their way to success to inspire and motivate you.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE…YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT LAS LAS!
to be continued…
